^A^D^OTHE BARRY PATCH^E^P^R
^QThis will be a collection of miscellaneous thoughts including those 
generated by the fact that most things have not two sides but three or more 
sides and that little interest is paid to the third or forth side of 
issues.  I welcome your contributions and ideas for this column.

To continue from a previous column: MORE USES FOR YOUR MODEM.
A. Use as door stop.  (This assumes you are not already using your Adam 
console as the door stop).
B. As a ray gun to scare small children.  ZAP you are going to disappear. 
C. On your house windows as a fake burglar alarm.  Print out a neat notice 
with PRINT WORKS or some other program, saying "This house protected by 
ADAM Security Services & Alarms."  There is no way the buglar will know it 
is only an Adam modem taped to your window.
D. To help balance out your Adam Set Up.  My set up has my disk drive on 
the bottom with the printer balanced on it, the CPU then is balanced on the 
printer, with my second disk drive on top of that.  I forget where ther 
power supply is but its in there some where.  Anyway, some times you will 
find this does not balance well and the entire stack falls over on the 
floor.	This is very upsetting as you must then rebuild the whole thing.  I 
have found that a modum placed with care can help stabilize and balance out 
the set up.  This is a very good use for your modem and I am suprised that 
the Coleco people did not mention it in their manual.

^DLETTERS TO ADAM^E.  The following letter was received from an Adam owner 
whose name has been deleted in the interests of good taste and protection 
of that person's reputation, etc.
^IDear Adam:
When I have a member of the opposite sex over to my apartment late at night 
and we start to get comfortable , my Adam Computer starts making sounds, 
throwing blue sparks, turning on and off.  I do not know what to do. Please 
advise.
Very truly yours,
Single Adam Owner

Dear Single Adam Owner:
I was quickly able to narrow your problem down to one of two possibilities. 
(l) You need to see your psychiatrist as you are obviously over-sexed in 
that you prefer someone of the opposite sex to your Adam computer, sick, 
very sick  OR (2) You need to see your local AUG as you are obviously 
under-utilizing your Adam Computer if you have time to think of members of 
the opposite sex.
Once you have determined (by consulatation with your psychiatrist or local 
AUG) whcih problem is yours, you should (l) send your picture & phone 
number if it turns out you are oversexed or (2) join a local AUG
immediately if your Adam is under-utilized.
The Barry Patch Advisor^F^J

Adam owners having similar problems are invited to write in with these 
problems and we shall attempt to handle them in a similar manner.
^B



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